what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
