Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
These tits shall not be calmed
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
