Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
