I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
well you can't waste a boner
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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