Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
