I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
