Christians are straight up FREAKS
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
