Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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