i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
My vagina is officially offended.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
