guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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