I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
