Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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