would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
