whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
