Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
This beer is not sobering me up at all
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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