hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
