I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
