He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Randomize
