at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Too much gin, very little bucket
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
