he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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