She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
