Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
