he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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