This dress was meant to end up on your floor
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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