i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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