I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
