Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Is it penis luge time yet?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
