So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
