I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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