your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Ketchup is God's man juice
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
