Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
