when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
