What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
