Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Randomize
