my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Randomize
