I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
