New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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