is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Randomize
