last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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