no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
