You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
she pinky promised me she was 18
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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