there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
