I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
