hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
