I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
