my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
she pinky promised me she was 18
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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