tell your sister to shave her snatch
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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