He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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