OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
