Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
