She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
