that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Randomize
