I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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