Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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