if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
