you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
