I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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