I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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