I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
