i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize